Building Connections: Strategies for Cultivating Friendships with Germans
Making friends in a new country can be a challenge, and Germany is no exception. For expats, the main hurdles are often the language barrier and cultural differences, which make integration with locals tough. While many Germans speak English, daily life, socializing, and fully participating in community or work life generally require German language skills, which are difficult to acquire[1].
Moreover, the German social culture can feel more reserved; locals often already have established social circles ("nursery friends"), making newcomers feel excluded or finding it harder to break in[3]. Other challenges include the complexity of bureaucracy, housing shortages, and for expat parents, difficulties connecting through their children’s German-language schooling system[1][5].
However, there are effective strategies to overcome these challenges. Learning German is essential for making friends and managing everyday social interactions[1]. Engaging socially with neighbors or joining local community groups and events can create opportunities to connect organically[2][4]. Leveraging any family, friends, or work contacts already in Germany to meet new people can help expand social circles[2].
Being proactive and patient is also key. Understanding that integration takes time, and that Germans may be reserved, repeated interactions and cultural openness are crucial to forming friendships[3][4]. Participating in expat and interest-based communities, such as clubs, hobby groups, or expat meetups, provides a more welcoming social environment to meet others with similar backgrounds or interests[4].
Despite these challenges, Germany does not consistently rank high in expat surveys for friendliness[6]. Just over 20% of respondents said most of their friends in Germany are German[7]. Some respondents made friends through daily interactions at work, German-speaking pub quizzes, music events, local church groups, and international business and social clubs[7].
Attending events, smiling, and being ready to make conversation is recommended by J Hanson for making friends in Germany[8]. Work and involvement in local activities and events can provide effective environments for making friends[9]. Regular interactions and a healthy dose of patience can lead to breakthroughs in making friends[9].
Being patient, persistent, and attending events or joining clubs are recommended for making friends in Germany. Demonstrating a genuine commitment to learning German signals respect for the culture and lowers the "stranger" barrier[10]. German friends help navigate cultural nuances, introduce to community events, and expand social and professional networks[11].
Forming friendships with locals can greatly ease integration in Germany. Children can be the magical ingredient when it comes to building friendships, but some people are sceptical about whether these relationships will stand the test of time[12]. Maria Sibiga feels isolated without friends in Germany, despite having supportive German in-laws[13].
In a recent survey, about 40% of respondents in Germany reported that most of their friends are other internationals[14]. Just under 20% of respondents have a good mixture of both German and international friends[7]. An anonymous respondent from Hamburg finds it hard to get close to anyone unless they're well settled or have strong ties to the country[15].
Respondents agree that a mixture of honesty and humor is an effective approach for making friends in Germany[8]. German friends can provide a valuable support system, helping expats navigate the complexities of the country and feel more at home[11].
In summary, the main hurdles to friendship for expats in Germany are the language barrier and reserved local social culture, but learning German, connecting in local neighborhoods or groups, and leveraging existing networks are practical ways to build friendships. Persistence and cultural adaptation are important to overcome initial social difficulties[1][2][3][4].
- Learning German and engaging in local community groups or events can create opportunities for expats to form friendships in Germany, despite the reserved nature of the local social culture.
- Attending events or joining clubs, along with a genuine commitment to learning the language, helps demonstrate respect for the culture and lowers the "stranger" barrier, making it easier for expats to make German friends.
- Having a mixture of German and international friends can provide a valuable support system for expats, helping them navigate the complexities of the country and feel more at home in Germany.
