"Complimentary Companionship": Guiding Girls Towards Empowered Womanhood and Boys towards Contemporary Manhood
Kick-Ass Parenting for Tomorrow's Phenoms: Starting with Dad
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Breaking free from the shackles of traditional child-rearing methods, today's parents strive to nurture strong and self-assured individuals. And guess who plays a pivotal role in this transformation? None other than the modern dad!
From the tenderest of ages, kids are often treated differently based on their gender. Girls are perceived as sweet, nurturing, and empathetic, while boys are seen as strong, brave, and resilient. Kleinkindpädagogin Susanne Mierau shed some light on this in a conversation with ntv.de. She explains, "Girls are usually steered towards domestic duties or objects closely resembling household items, such as dolls or play kitchens. Boys, on the other hand, get laptops and Legos." This early exposure to gender roles, often unintentional, can subtly impact children's development.
A mere glance at the kids' departments of popular clothing retailers confirms this stereotypical gender divide, according to Mierau. "Girls are often dressed in tight, restrictive outfits that limit their mobility, while boys' clothes come with side pockets for tools or action figures." Conversely, shirts for girls promote sweetness, while those for boys emphasize strength and courage. These messages perpetuate and influence the adults around children, shaping their behavior.
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Dedicated educators like Mierau are intent on turning back the clock on these dated stereotypes. In her best-selling book, "New Moms Raising Rebel Girls," Mierau details the necessary changes in the education of girls to break through these archaic expectations and cultivate self-assured, self-aware women. During her own childhood in the 80s, kids were given much more freedom and equality in terms of clothing and toys. "Children's clothes and toys were more uniform for both boys and girls in the 80s," Mierau notes, "The rose-blue phase came a bit later, marking a small step backwards."
Big Family, Bigger Responsibilities
Recent studies during the coronavirus pandemic reveal a widening gender gap once again. Women have reported feeling significantly more stressed due to the combined demands of working from home, taking care of their children, and handling household chores. According to the study "(Digital) working 2020: Fair opportunities for all?" from the German Federal Ministry of Education and Research, and a study by the FH Bielefeld, women are more likely to reduce their work hours to take on caregiving responsibilities, while men often work overtime.
Children observe and are heavily influenced by the environment around them. It's crucial for their self-image to see equality, says Mierau. "Should my daughter see that her mom also takes time to relax on the couch with a book, or is she constantly on the go and doing chores, while dad lazes around? That makes a big difference," Mierau explains.
Modern Dads for Modern Women
If we aspire to raise self-confident individuals, the partnership between parents—or the immediate environment of single parents—plays a crucial role. "Given a parental relationship, fathers actually have a very significant impact on their children's development," Mierau asserts. This is evident in various aspects of their daily interactions. "For instance, how a father behaves toward the mother, how he comments on her actions, or how they negotiate compromises," Mierau explains.
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Beyond their visible caregiving roles, the emotional availability of fathers is also important. "The father's role as a role model is critical for the emotional education of children," Mierau states. "It's essential for children to see how fathers deal with emotional situations. Do they also share in sadness and anger?" Especially boys should learn this emotional mastery from their fathers, as emotional education has historically fallen short for them.
Boys and Girls: The New Approach
The shift toward gender equality calls for a reversal of traditional parenting approaches for boys and girls. According to Mierau, girls should be encouraged to set boundaries and be strong, while boys need a unique approach:
- Regulating Emotions: Many boys lack social skills, Mierau observes. They particularly need coaching in dealing with anxiety, jealousy, and frustration without resorting to violence. "And parents should refrain from justifying these violent tendencies by saying, 'that's just what boys are,'" Mierau adds.
- Promoting Empathy: Both boys and girls should be taught to empathize with their peers and be more sensitive to the feelings of others.
- Fostering Autonomy: Encouraging children to exercise choice and make decisions empowers them, and helps them develop a strong sense of self.
Allowing boys and girls to explore activities without gender restrictions supports their unique personalities and nurtures self-confidence. "More of what we freely permit boys to do should also be available for girls, and vice versa," suggests Mierau. Ultimately, the goal is to support children in their individuality, regardless of whether that role traditionally belongs to a specific gender.
Source: ntv.de
- Parenting
- Emotional Intelligence
- Gender Stereotypes
- As Susanne Mierau advocates, it's crucial for modern dads to be active participants in breaking away from traditional gender roles, as their involvement in children's education-and-self-development can significantly impact relationships within the family and beyond.
- In line with the push for gender equality, the community policy and employment policy should support and encourage fathers to be more involved in caregiving responsibilities, as this can fosters a lifestyle that promotes equality and self-assured development for all children.
