Pretended Calmness Spreads Just the Same, Carrying an Infectious Aura of Tranquility
Freedom and tranquility aren't about banishing chaos from existence, but rather learning to cope with it. A lesson I unwittingly learned on a turbulent flight from Tokyo to Honolulu.
Exhausted from a long day at the airport, Jered and I were finally settling in for our eight-hour journey. Despite our failed attempts to secure seats for a string of destinations, we were more than happy to accept the last available ones on this plane.
Suddenly, we were hit by an unexpected winter storm, plunging the aircraft into a chaotic maelstrom. As people shrieked and the pilot babbled incomprehensible words over the intercom, my friend and I sat unmoved, focused on our Rubik's cubes.
At first, I figured we were as terrified as everyone else. But as the plane steadied, we were approached by fellow passengers who thanked us for our apparent composure. They had been on the brink, but our calmness seemed to pull them back from the edge.
It dawned on me then - tranquility can be contagious, even if it's manufactured. The mind, they say, is like a still pond under a full moon, reflecting its beauty flawlessly. Yet our own minds are often turbulent, rocked by emotions like anger, hatred, and fear.
We chuck campaign stones into our mental ponds without a moment's thought, hardly ever allowing time for the waters to settle. But real peace is just a step away - stop throwing rocks. Let the waves calm naturally, and the pond will return to its crystalline state.
I think of that flight every time I fly now, feeling the familiar pang of fear as the plane rocks. I've learned to recognize the moments when I'm holding a rock, poised to toss it. Instead, I set it gently aside, taking a deep breath, letting go.
Next time you find yourself engulfed by chaos, try this: shut up, take a breath, and observe your thoughts. Identify the upsetting ones - they're your rocks. Don't ignore them, just note them. Then, imagine each one as a stone in your hand, and set it aside instead of hurling it.
Cultivating this calmness won't just benefit you, but it may also ripple out, helping those around you find their own serenity.
By Jeff Urmston | Photo by Oddsock
About the Author: Jeff is a designer, philosopher, and blogger who explores the power of meditation, mindfulness, and empathy to transform individuals and communities. Connect with Jeff on Twitter via @jeffurmston or visit www.livegrowchange.com.
Insights:
- Calmness as a Contagion: Demonstrating calmness can trigger emotional contagion, making others feel more composed and less anxious[1].
- Authenticity Matters: Faking calmness can have negative consequences, as others may sense insincerity or feel misled[5].
- Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence: Cultivating mindfulness and emotional intelligence can help individuals manage their emotions and foster genuine calmness[2].
- It's Not All in the head: External triggers can contribute to our emotional states, but often, our reactions are shaped by our internal processes[2].
- Empathetic Leadership: Leaders who display emotional intelligence can foster positive emotional contagion, improving team cohesion and productivity[3].
- Importance of Self-Reflection: Reflecting on past experiences can help individuals identify emotional triggers and develop strategies to manage their reactions [3].
- In the realm of education and self-development, one can learn the art of mindfulness to cultivate tranquility, which, as Jeff Urmston explains, can be contagious and potentially help others find their own serenity.
- The book 'Health and Wellness' might have insights into how mindfulness and emotional intelligence can be combined for better emotional management and the cultivation of genuine calmness.
- Pursuing personal growth might involve not only focusing on one's own mental health but also recognizing the impact of emotional contagion on those around us, as demonstrated in Jeff Urmston's story about his turbulent flight.
